by Natalie Orzame
A Appreciate those around you. Point out road workers, good customer service workers, retail employees (especially during the holidays), clergy, military, and the garbage man to your children. Talk about the people who work hard to serve our community, whom we may take for granted.
B Be understanding. Gratitude is a learning process, and your kids will mess up. Try to see life from their perspective and bring them back to gratitude with grace and mercy. It may not be heartfelt as you want it to be at the moment, but they’re learning.
C Create a ‘Gratitude Tree’ or ‘Gratitude Jar’. This can be as simple as cut out leaves on construction paper, or as ornate as a centerpiece of homemade ornaments on found branches. Adding to the tree every day will create an atmosphere of thankfulness, and even beauty, in your home as the tree or jar grows more full.
D Don’t let “thank you” be a secret. Thank your children for acts of kindness and teach them to say “thank you” as well.
E Explain the difference between needs and wants. Younger children usually don’t have the maturity or understanding to be thankful when they don’t get what they want. We’ve all been there! It can be very helpful to start with the basics. Let them know that money saved from abstaining from some of our wants allows us to do other fun things like extracurricular activities or cool field trips. Try to find ways to teach them using concrete examples instead of abstract ideas.
F Fun! Have fun with it. Gratitude isn’t just a duty, it’s a joy! (Also see J.)
G Get creative. Saying “thank you” isn’t the only way to say thank you. Think of creative ways to thank people using gifts or acts of service.
H He is good! God is all good, all loving, all powerful, all the time. In Sally Lloyd-Jones’s words, God loves us with a “Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.” Even in the worst seasons, we ALWAYS have reason enough to be eternally grateful.
I “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:7-9 (NIV) is a beautiful picture of all of the various ways we can be training ourselves and our children in the Lord.
J Joy and thankfulness go hand in hand. The more thankful we are, the less anxiety we feel, and the more grounded we are in the Lord’s joy. “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:16-18).
K Kindle. If you or your family struggle in this area, start small, just as kindling starts a fire. Gather the straw and scattered, low-lying twigs by just saying a quick “Thank you, Lord” here and there with your family. The more you remember to thank the Lord for the small things, the more your fire will grow into an inextinguishable sense of gratitude.
L Learn about people around you who are less fortunate than you. Go on a mission trip. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Point out all of the ways you are blessed, and teach your children to share their blessings with compassion, knowing that God cares for each of us equally.
M Model gratitude. Kids don’t do what you say, they do what you do.
N Notice the beauty of God’s creation, and encourage gratitude for the simplicity of a beautiful sunset, flower, or a cool insect.
O Observe all the subtle ways that discontentment may be creeping into your own speech. Every time you say you want a bigger house or nicer things, you could be planting little seeds of ungratefulness. It’s ok to feel frustrated sometimes, but always return to thanking God for everything you have.
P Praise God in the hard times. This is a powerful way to model gratitude in a very real way. God really is good, all the time, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Q Questions. Questions are the most effective teachers. Instead of lecturing our kids, remember to use lots of questions to get them thinking about gratitude for themselves.
R Rituals. Rituals train us, externally, where our hearts should be, internally. When partnered with good discipleship, rituals or habits of gratitude provide healthy soil for it to flourish in the heart.
S Sing. There are countless hymns and worship songs giving thanks to God.
T Thank God aloud every chance you get. Just like practicing most things, repeating something verbally helps it to become a good habit.
U Unpack. Sometimes when our kids act ungrateful, we can take it personally and react in the wrong way. But their behavior may indicate that they have some underlying issues of their own. Take a minute to unpack some pent-up emotions and address the root of the problem.
V Volunteer where there is a need in your church or community. Use your biggest areas of compassion and skill to lead you to the right area of service. Don’t forget to encourage your kids to volunteer around the house, too. Entitlement breeds discontentment.
W Write it down. Think of how special it is to receive a hand-written thank you note or a spontaneous text.
X Extol. “Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song” (Ps. 95:2).
Y Young. It’s never too late to begin the journey to gratitude. But, if you can, start your kids young. There’s nothing better than hearing the little “tank-oo” come from their lips.
Z Zephaniah 3:17: “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” It doesn’t get any better than this! What more do we need to be grateful?!